Last night, President Obama ignited my humorous fantasies and I enjoyed the moments of these playful crackers in my mind amid the deafening sounds of Diwali crackers late in the night! Hope you too would enjoy! π
I
Bunty: So, do you still love Obama?
Babli: I am afraid, I don’t.
Bunty: Can you spare the reason?
Babli: CHANGE can happen!
II
Bunty: You know, Obama is so powerful as the President of the most powerful State in the world. With a flip of the hand, he controls entire Americas, the Middle East, the South Asia, the South East Asia. The entire Axis of Evil will tremble when the President sneezes. (Haughtily) The food you eat, the job you do and the house you live in will all blow out if the President decides otherwise…
Babli: (After listening to a long and a wordy lecture on the power and abilities of the President) But, hmm, err, do you know something?
Bunty: Now, what?
Babli: But, pappu can’t dance, sala!
III
Bunty: Hello Mr.President! We are so happy to see you in India. Welcome our home.
President Obama: Oh, I am honored! Thank you!
Bunty: We would be so happy to have you in our dinner tonight with our family!
President Obama: Not today, dear! Probably, next time.
Babli: But, President, the food would be spoiled by time you visit next time!
IV
Bunty and Babli take the President on a tour around Bangalore showing generally the roads, the high-rise buildings, the technological parks, etc.
President Obama: Hey, it is interesting to see cattle on the middle of the roads!
Bunty: (Irked at the comment explains on the reverence that Indians allude to the cattle, the position of cattle in our societies, the freedom of their movements and how Indians would protect the natural habitats, etc etc!)
President Obama: Hmm, I see. So, do you mean you write software for us living in a kind of zoo?
Bunty: (Looking embarrassed) No, we write it for those who are out of it!
V
Bunty: President, Right or Left?
President Obama: Straight!
Bunty: But, you get to Nagerhole National Park!
VI
First Lady, Michelle Obama: Dear, call me once you reach India.
President Obama: Sure, would try, honey! But, even I shout from there, I am afraid, you can’t hear me because it is so far from here!
First Lady, Michelle Obama: By Jove! You are already talking Indian!
VII
President Obama: (After visiting the famous Taj Mahal in Agra) Oh, awesome! I loved the Taj! I would love to have it in US too.
Babli: (With an innocuous look in her eyes) But, President, you still have the First Lady alive!
VIII
Prime Minister Singh: President, help us making (nuclear) power.
President Obama: Uhh, help us doing business.
Prime Minister Singh: But, we thought Americans already do business with power!
IX
(President Obama delivers a keynote address to the combined gathering of the members of both the Houses of Parliament in India. Among the active listeners is Lalooji!)
President extols on the ideals of democracy and how important the position of India is in the overall strategic corridor of US.
Lalooji murmurs: I heard of the life partner or a business partner. What the hell is this strategic partner?
The President (after speaking a few more words asks informally): Right?
Lalooji murmurs: Arrey bhai! We are at the Center!
The President (while concluding his address): So, in this august House, …
Lalooji murmurs (again): Kyaa bol rahaa hain! This is November, not August!
X
(At the summit meeting between Prime Minister Singh and President Obama)
Prime Minister Singh (after briefing the President on the adventures of Pakistan on Indian soil): Thus, President, we urge you to make right use of your august office to persuade Pakistan to stop all terrorist (mis)adventures on our soil.
President Obama: (Keeps silent for a long time)
Prime Minister Singh: Oh, President, we insist!
President Obama: (After a long pause again) Hmm, I understand your predicament, Prime Minister Singh. I love Kashmir apples, but I wonder whether General Kayani likes biryani!
Disclaimer: The above humor is not intended to hurt any one and should not be construed as a disrespect to the visiting President or any one mentioned in the humorous items. It is only a way to say welcome to the President. π